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What is going on with my emotions? OMG all over the place lately. I know what it is and yes this is a whining post but it needs to come out so I don't eat it and gain even more weight. I am slowly slipping into a deep depression and I hate it. I so don't want to feel like this. A bit part of my problem is I HATE my job. I am stuck,, yes I know, be happy I have a job but no matter where I work at I am not happy and hate it. I know what it is I want to do and no matter how hard I try to reach it, just not happening. I know this is going to sound lazy but I honestly just want to stay home, I love taking care of the home but financially can't afford it. I am trying to get a home business going but I can't share it right now because I am not even sure it will ever come into reality. I just feel like I am too old to not know what it is I want to be when I grow up. I watch everyone around me achieve their dreams and I am happy for them but truth be known, my heart aches a bit because I feel so let down by myself and wonder why I can't do anything successfully. I refuse to give up but at this point, just don't know how to go forward as well. I know my friends are tired of hearing me whine and I feel myself withdrawing further into my own sadness and pretending I am ok because I don't ever want anyone wish they weren't my friend or hide from me because I am such a downer. I am frustrated, irritable and even I don't want to be around me. With all that I still will not give up,, just lost in the woods right now.